What the hell...

Fan fiction, poetry, and lore. No adult content, please.

What the hell...

Postby neildarkstar » Sat Apr 11, 2015 1:59 am

What the Hell...?
I hurry quickly along through the cold and damp stone passage carrying my prize... a small container of fry sauce. Oh, such a tangy, tasty delight in which to dip my cold fries leftover from last night's supper... and all mine. I can hardly wait, and I am sorely tempted to just stick my finger in it for a taste. As I hurry along (careful, oh carefully, don't touch those wet, slimy, moss covered walls) I hear the sudden snap of a bow string, and the container of fry sauce disappears from my hand! What devil's work is this? What the hell...?

I turn and look up the passage, then whirl, staring down the passage, but no hint of movement can I see. Crouching, making myself small, I look to see where my fry sauce has gone, and strangely there lies the container on the floor, but no sign of sauce is in it. What the hell....?

The frozen stone of the floor is cold enough to make the bones in my bare feet ache, and I sometimes can imagine I can see little puffs of my breath as I turn this way and that seeking solutions that seem not to exist. What has just happened?

In the dim torchlight, I can see a figure approaching from down the passage. Quickly now, ever so quick but silently, without a sound, I hide behind a stone column until I know who or what is coming. As the figure approaces, I move around the column keeping myself from the view of the interloper who has entered my realm of fry sauce and cold dead fries.

What?!? It's the old chief torturer from Helgen, but... I saw him die in the dungeon of the Keep, at the hands of the Stormcloaks. How can this be? What the hell...?

It matters not, he has somehow taken my prized sauce from me, and he must pay. As he moves past the column behind which I am lurking, I slip into place behind him drawing my dagger. Slow now, don't rush, don't muck it it up. "All eyes are on you" says Brynjolf from a table in the center of the passage... breathe slowly, softly, don't give yourself away by gasping a gulp of adrenaline-filled air... Left arm over his shoulder to grab his chin and raising it high and pulling it back while right arm comes forward across his chest then slashing back, opening his throat... but there is no blood and the evil old master of torture sinks into the floor and is gone without a trace. What the hell...?

Moving back up the passage, with a start I see my fry sauce. It is hanging in the air some three feet above the floor, strung across the passage in a thin, jagged line like some twisted police tape marking a crime scene. Hanging there, frozen in space as it falls. I put my finger into it, but I cannot touch it! The sauce is there, but at the same time... not. I slap at it in frustration with an open hand, and it is gone, but where? WHERE? ...WHERE DID IT GO?

WHAT THE HELL...?

Then I realize I am either dead or dreaming, and I hope it is the latter.. because if it is the former, there is no hope, and my fry sauce is gone... and so am I.

I cannot tell where I am...
Can you help me?
Please?

*
A note, dear reader.
Some of this happened, though perhaps some did not. I leave it to you to determine for yourself whether it was in a game or in a dream, or perhaps... even in death. The onus is on you to determine "what the hell...?"
;)
"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." - Movie "Flypaper"
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Re: What the hell...

Postby Adul » Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:58 am

Have you ever written a book, Neil? You should. I felt like I was there in that damp, dark passage, even though nothing actually made any sense. :biggrin:

So the question remains: were you dreaming, or are you dead? Beats me. :shrug:
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Re: What the hell...

Postby neildarkstar » Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:49 am

Thanks Adul... No, I haven't actually written a book (unless you count "Avawne" which is here on this site. This little story was written to create a sense of... "immediacy", and not making sense was kinda the point, so I'm not unhappy that you saw it that way. :biggrin:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." - Movie "Flypaper"
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Re: What the hell...

Postby Mr.Shadow1234 » Sat Apr 18, 2015 12:31 am

Yeah, Adul is right, you should write a book. Then publish it
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Re: What the hell...

Postby Elaura » Sat Apr 18, 2015 12:46 am

...or you could publish a book and then write it . . . just make sure you get paid first. Image
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Re: What the hell...

Postby Mr.Shadow1234 » Sat Apr 18, 2015 1:02 am

Well, how to publish stuff before writing it? Please explain, it would solve all my problems.(well, not all)
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Re: What the hell...

Postby neildarkstar » Sat Apr 18, 2015 1:05 am

Thanks Shadow...

Elaura, you mean they actually PAY people to have so much fun?!? :biggrin:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." - Movie "Flypaper"
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Re: What the hell...

Postby Elaura » Sat Apr 18, 2015 1:06 am

Sorry, Shadow. I was teasing you. The way you wrote your post was kind of self-evident. In the same way "Write a letter. Then mail it." is self-evident. :lol:

I suppose they pay someone. There must be some reason my mother's kindle is full of authors and books I've never heard of.
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