Is it so odd?

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Is it so odd?

Postby Elaura » Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:23 pm

This is a thread for posting personal values, beliefs, mores, customs, and basic house rules that garner weird looks from other people.

Our (real life) House Rules:

  1. No business calls before 9am or after 5pm or on weekends, period. We check the caller ID and if you aren't friend or family, we don't answer.
  2. Don't let the phone ring more than 5 times. We don't have an answering machine, or voicemail. If it's so damn important, wait five minutes and call back. Nobody runs for the phone, ever.
  3. Do not open our front gate for any reason unless a household member is present. We have dogs and dogs are unpredictable.
  4. Do not just "drop by". Call first. Call from the front gate, at least. Give us a chance to make up some kind of excuse if we don't feel like having visitors.

The following are a little more strange to people apparently:

  • Jac and I do not "visit with" people of the opposite sex unless they are relatives or we are together, not even for coffee. Business is business, of course, and is conducted during business hours, but that's it.
  • Neither Jac nor I allow phone calls, emails, or private messages from members of the opposite sex who aren't relatives or do not have business with us.

Naturally, the first time any of these happen the person gets a pass; they couldn't have known before we tell them, but why take it personally? House rules aren't meant to offend, they are meant to avoid offense. Anybody else get the feeling their personal bylaws frustrate or confuse others?
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Fenrir » Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:46 pm

More of a paranoia thing, but I've had a custom for a few years that I got from my father, in that I never sit down with my back to a door unless I cannot sit anywhere else. Optimal point of sitting is in a place where my back is to a wall and I can see any and all entrances to a place, or outside with, again, back to a wall so I can see both ahead of me, to my left, and to my right.
Even weirder is that I'm a very trusting person. I just don't like having people behind me or being unable to have a general idea of who's around me and where they are at all times.
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Elaura » Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:59 pm

Situational awareness is a good thing, Fenrir. One word of warning, though, unless the walls are made of concrete, you're better off being able to see what's going on behind you. Only your more honest murderers worry about going around the wall instead of just shooting through it.
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Adul » Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:01 pm

Interesting idea for a forum topic. It certainly takes some form of bravery to make your own lifestyle decisions public, especially if they're somewhat on the eccentric side. That said...

I only leave home when I have to. Constantly being around people unnerves me, I don't like crowds, and I don't like to party or to travel. I don't think people inherently come in pairs, and I don't need to live with anyone else to feel whole. Being alone is liberating, and I very much enjoy it.

Apparently, all of those things I mentioned are the strangest ideas ever conceived to pretty much everyone in my life. It's not a rare occurrence that I get concerned warnings or suggestions from friends and family, who are, of course, not trained to give them. I don't fault them for it, though - people are generally not very good at handling different lifestyles and are typically convinced that theirs is the "correct one".
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Fenrir » Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:03 pm

It's mainly at school, so they're pretty thick walls. And I usually prefer corners if I can get them.

Though, with my county burning down, I have more things to worry about than someone sneaking up on me.
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby neildarkstar » Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:34 pm

That's called the "gunfighter's chair" Fenrir, and it's very popular among some classe3s of people. bikers, gangsters, Wise guys, etc. In fact, I favor seats in that position myself. I've even been known to stand and lean with my back against a wall for a couple of hours rather than sit with my back to a door. Personally though, I'm not a very trusting person, but, unfortunately, I've had the kind of "friends" who'd kill you if they thought it would pay and they could get away with it.

The only real rules I have in my house (which includes my vehicle incidentally) is just exactly like the part played by John Wayne in "The Shootist". I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on... I don't do these things to other people, and I won't abide them being done to me. That applies to my family as well. Oh, then there's the rule that if you take the last bottle of soda, you get to run to the store to get more, and if you take the last ice cube out of the tray, you'd best fill the damned thing up and get it back in the freezer. Oh, and if you fall asleep or pass out in my bed, you may want to be prepared to get "laid a hand on" unless you behave yourself, or I'll dump you onto the floor. The worst I've ever done in that respect is to pick up a squealing young lady, carry her to the bathroom, then drop her in the bathtub, and turned the cold water on.

Rules like you guys have, (Jac and Elaura) just wouldn't work for me. People stop by unannounced or call at all hours of the day and night, because there is no way whatsoever to tell what my current sleeping hours might be. Last night I crawled out of bed at about 11pm after getting 7 hours of sleep. The day before, I got up at 4pm. If I go to bed early tonight (by 8 or 9), I may be up by 7am tomorrow. You see how hard it would be to work around a schedule like that, eh?

We don't have any rules about conversations with the opposite gender either, as long as they don't end in the bedroom...
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Elaura » Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:21 pm

Nothing wrong with that, Adul. I'm not much for leaving the house these days, either, fortunately Jac is the same way.

Fenrir, just keep doing that at school. I've never known people more apt to hit you from behind than highschool-age people.

Neil, I guess it stems from nobody in the house being able to sleep well to start with. I worked the night-shift for years and would get pissed at anyone who called during regular business hours. I guess I can be hard to please. As for the rest, they exist to prevent drama. With a history like yours, I'm beginning to think you thrive on drama. :D
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby neildarkstar » Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:59 pm

Adul, I missed your post... There's nothing wrong with being alone as long as you're comfortable with it. I heard some where once that what terrifies most people about being alone is discovering that if they are alone there is really nobody there at all and the entire population of the area is 0... :biggrin:

Elaura, I think you may be right. I've certainly had a lot of drama, and I feel kind of... outa sorts if nothing's happening. Really though, I tend to think that everybody around me goes out of their way to create drama regarding things I care nothing at all about. I had a wife at one time who decided to tell me her deepest darkest most shocking secret... so when I learned what it was, my reaction was "and?" because while I found it interesting on some levels, I didn't find it shocking at all. So then she was mad at me for days, and the drama began. Or just continued, I could never really tell which for sure.

Which brings me back to Adul's post. People tend to think, as you say, that their lifestyle choices are correct, and if your choices are different they are compelled to help you for your own good. At least they want to believe it's for YOUR good, because otherwise that means they have to re-examine their own choices in a new light - Maybe they made the poor choices, eh? The bottom line though is that we should make the choices that please us, and make us happy, or at least comfortable, with our lives as long as we don't inflict harm on others.
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby Adul » Sat Sep 20, 2014 7:42 pm

I think you hit the nail on the head, Neil. With diversity of choice comes the possibility of making mistakes. Most people who are set in their ways like to think theirs is the only way - it's easier not to process the alternatives. :anxious:
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Re: Is it so odd?

Postby soap » Wed Dec 31, 2014 2:43 pm

This stuff just fascinates me, I love social structures, human interaction and things like that. So Rules of the house is part of that.

I think some of your rules are a bit much for me Elaura, but I can totally respect them and I love them for what they are. I wonder if Id have similar rules if I'd live in the same area. Growing up I had a few rules of the house, lots of etiquette to follow as well.

Simple rules I think should be followed are Children don't answer the phone. With my current job I'm surprised what kids tell me, growing up id get in trouble saying no one was home. Obviously this bridges to the next point, no children left home alone.

I guess I should tell you, I work for ADT Canada, so we do electronical surveillance. So if an Alarm goes off we call to check. Well once a child for forgotten home alone, and the alarm was blaring off. - - Anyways, that's a whole other topic.

Children don't answer the door - that's a given, but yet I see people who let them do it, I'm surprised. Growing up you always had to say where you where going.

Anyhow I think most of you know this rules as kids. Currently I think we mostly have unwritten rules between me and my wife. For instance, no going out late in clubs or bars. She says I'm married why would I got clubbing or drinking, that time is over. I mostly agree, I'll go have a beer with friends once in a while, but nothing really late at night, if so rarely.

It's actually somewhat of a culture shock, my wife is from another country all together, and her lack of structure freaks me out, I grew up so disciplined the word that keeps coming to mind is sloppy. You look at each our desk and it's a world of difference, mine is tidy and orderly everything in it's place and mostly had clear open space. My wife's desk looks like it came out of one of those Hoarders shows. I tried to instill some discipline but that triggered some kind of past trauma so I dropped it quickly...

In short - my house doesn't really have rules. :|
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